nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
