38 yer olds are good kisserssss
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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