he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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