I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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