So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
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the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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