Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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