how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
