Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
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