he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
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What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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