if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
