I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me