Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup