You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?