It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says