Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.