seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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