So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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