Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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