I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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