I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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