why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
