I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
