just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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