Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I wish my penis had an off switch
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
