can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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