Please, let me fuck your mom
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
