I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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