dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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