I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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