When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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