I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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