i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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