I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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