Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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