but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
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