dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
