No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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