He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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