he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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