Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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