We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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