I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize