He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
