Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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