Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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