who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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