Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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