Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
