The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
