Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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