So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
