what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize