oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
