I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
