I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
