Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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