What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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