Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
