I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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