What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
