why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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