Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
