You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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