Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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