operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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