I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
