Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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