We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
