Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
