it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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