im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
