At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
