what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
